hmph

"you're so ate up with the military" you said to me. And maybe you didn't mean the way i took it. But i felt it was mean and quite a low blow.
I'm sorry that's the life you decided to leave to persue school and then a big huge question mark after that!
The military is what I have and really all I've got. So piss off.
I will be great and I will make it. Re-enlisting is something I did to provide myself with the opportunity to make some of my dreams a reality.

So there.
what you said today hurt my feelings; but it opened my eyes too. Whether or not you meant it is no matter.

what will happen will happen... you know: que sera sera!

On that note...

Goodnight

Wow

I have so much to say, and so little time. Guess it doesn't help that I can't type. But that's besides the point; for now at least.
I just want to say that this blog was inspired somehow by a certain friend who writes down random thoughts...
My sister assured me one day in response to my "I just don't feel pretty today" that I was beautiful on the inside... angry, but beautiful.

She's right you know. And I've been telling people that for years. No ever seems to believe me. Steven might; and I only say this because a couple weeks ago, i told him that the rental car lady was getting on my nerves, and his response was "don't hurt nobody"... Kind of funny actually, since I can't remember the last time I did physically cause someone pain. Nevertheless, his assessment was accurate. And Cassie's too. She does know, for sure.

I am angry on the inside.

This leave was supposed to be good. It was. However, certain circumstances have caused that anger to rise almost to the boiling over point. Good thing I have my sisters to vent to. The whole house thing... mom... matt... oh, just thinking about it makes me seethe! As often as I jokingly say that I'm going to punch (such and such) in the face... man, I really think that I'd feel a whole lot better if I could accomplish that goal. But I know that there are better ways of releasing one's frustration, and here we have this blog. . . secret, somewhat, yet so public.

I am angry on the inside.

Yet those with whom I work, and those who see me often tell me that they almost never see me without a smile on my face. Well, it's true I am a cheerful person... I guess that's where I have been so blessed: the cheer in my nature blances out the anger in my heart.

If I write more, I'll not get to sleep, so good night.