Wowwy

Oh lawdy! Whatever have you done!

It's almost time

And it's so hard. Every day, hour, minute that brings me closer makes me weep unreservedly in my heart.
Today I spent most of my free time emailing my Love. It was generally light and sweet and rends my heart in ways I didn't think possible.
He's not going to forgive me. He's going to think I've abandoned him. And I love him. And how!
But I have to do what's right. And I can only pray that he will understand. Which he should. But all people are unpredictable. Fly out to PI? What I wouldn't give! But the circumstances don't allow. They don't fit. If I can't be a good woman then I won't do it; no matter how my heart breaks, how my souls sighs.
Is there a possibility that I will see him again - maybe magically standing on my front door step after he takes orders to Virginia? A possibility that when I leave him to his thoughts, to his life, to the existence he had before we met, that he will realize that we are soul mates?
Well life is full of possibilities. But thus is asking too much. Hoping too far.

I pray for him daily. I say a rosary for him every day. And I will entrust his soul and my beaten and bruised heart to Our Holy Mother's gentle loving care.